I met Thomas Van der Plaetsen about 3 months ago when he came to give a motivational talk on “Resilience” at my company. As a 26 years old Belgian Decathlete who overcame cancer and a number of injuries to then go off winning a bunch of international competitions, he made quite an impression on me. “You’re a cougar”. As one of my friends likes to put it – so not statistically accurate, btw -. Rather, it’s because he showed such a strong mindset and a simple, even effortless-looking, wisdom. And so early on in his life, already available to him. Plus his drive, his ability to articulate and convey a real inspiring message to an audience of fully grown-ups advertising professionals. We chatted and kept in touch for a bit, discussing our common interests, systems and references, spiritual practices, even mental strength, performance anxiety during competition etc… I always had a special interest for Track & Field, since i grew up with some athlete students when in junior-high and high-school, so it was fun to revisit this world again. In August, Thomas had to quit the London World Championship due to another injury, and just recently posted a very calm and comfortable statement on where is head is at. Here: https://www.facebook.com/vanderplaetsen/posts/1944716932433502 Why should I care? I found Thomas’ messages relevant as my recurring shoulder injury means no salsa, no pole, no training, no stage time this year. His message resonated with me once again: Self-acceptance, letting go of things that don’t go as planned, keeping a focus on the outcome and what we can control while having to face unpredictable events, coming to terms that, despite so much effort/work, sometimes it just won’t come out as we hope for. I have struggled with that lately. Actually most of all the time. Maybe years. I am typically super driven and I do tend to beat myself up for not achieving goals at the pace I set for. Moving back from the US and settling back to Europe in Brussels was brutal, breaking ties with people I loved so much, having to reinvent myself, slowly, is taking forever and it’s probably going to be a permanent work in progress. Right now, a lot of my goals are delayed, and more importantly, what’s delayed is how they make me feel. Until further notice. Like rehabbing my shoulder and fascia, which is changing my body for a few months most likely. Aside from stagnating in my dancing and loosing my dance partner, I have been face-planting in the dating department for longer than I’d like to admit, and I struggle with finding my career next step. Regularly flunking my to-do list and falling off the meditation wagon. Procrastinating on enlightenment. Oh and I would like to be more loving. More generous, more contributing, smoothing out my communication and whatever else in the self-improvement realm. In a nutshell, constantly improving my physical, mental and emotional fitness, while being frustrated with the journey, which appears to be going at the speed of snail. Thomas and I chatting and his recent post were a perfect reminder that doing our best, one day at a time, is what matters, accepting where we are, without judgment. His healthy, somewhat stoic approach, of acceptance and letting go of a desire-not-met seemed so simple, an obvious insight, an “ah-ha” moment to put that “over-achiever” to rest for a while. Success is relative, and we push ourselves constantly. Where we may differ, him and I, is that I am not a pro-athlete with an objective time measurement of my performance. But ultimately we compete against ourselves and to be the best we can be, mastering what we got to work with when getting over here on this planet. Being vulnerable, embracing the mess while stopping the constant mind chatter and that vague feeling of self-hatred is the real challenge. For me, it’s about not blaming myself for not getting there, not having the patience, feeling discouraged, confused, sometimes even punished or wanting to speed up the time. Keeping my own sanity means finding the fragile balance between hustling and just being, to know when to be in full-on action mode and when to just be, stay put and let life unfolds as it should. So we definitely need more Empathy for ourselves. Like Danielle Laporte says in her “White Hot Truth” book: “You reward yourself for trying, not only if you achieve what you set out to, but just for showing up because love is a process, not a finish line (…). You go from tolerating your so-called shortcomings to actually accepting more parts of yourself”. I found that the quickest supportive way to heal, move on and come up on top is Gratitude. My only option, the way to go: Up. As well as the spot to chill out at. Gracefully. I am grateful for Thomas reminding me about gratitude! Gratitude to get to experience being a physical and spiritual being in this lifetime, for having the opportunity to age, for appreciating where we stand and feel the ignition and the drive for where we want to go, again and again, and to be kind to ourselves when we don’t/can’t/won’t, while keeping hope and our dreams alive.
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